What I Learned by Not Riding My Horses

Immy playing “kill the pool noodle”

For most of my horse life, riding was the goal.
If I wasn’t in the saddle, I felt like I wasn’t really doing anything with my horses.

Then Immy came into my life.

She was a bright, gentle mare with a big heart—but due to her physical issues, riding wasn’t an option for her. I knew that our relationship would have to be built entirely on groundwork, connection, and shared time.

Over the years, I also had stretches when my other horses were rehabbing from various injuries or physical setbacks. There were (and still are) long periods where none of them were in regular ridden work. At first, it was hard to adjust. I missed the rhythm, the shared motion, and the quiet contentment after a ride. I worried I’d lose my sense of partnership with them without riding.

But it turned out to be the exact opposite.

Those seasons of not riding taught me more about my horses—and about myself—than I ever could have learned in the saddle. It’s impossible to sum it all up in one post, but here’s what stands out most:

🌻 Groundwork Is Not a Consolation Prize

I used to think of groundwork as “warm-up before the real work.” But without riding, I began to see it for what it truly is: a language all its own.

Through liberty work, leading with tiny body cues, and creative obstacle play, I discovered just how much could be accomplished without ever swinging a leg over. My horses began to check in with me more, mirror my movements, and even offer their own ideas. We started to build a mutual trust that was deeper, more responsive, and more collaborative than ever before.

🌻 I Learned How to Play

Not just train, not just work—truly play.

Sometimes that meant a goofy game of follow-the-leader. Other times, it was Immy’s favorite—“kill the pool noodle”—or exploring a new object or place just to see what might happen. I found myself laughing during training sessions. I let go of “getting it right” and found a pure, lighthearted joy I’d never experienced before.

🌻 I Began to See the Depth of Their Value as Individuals

Without the focus on riding, I slowed down enough to really see each horse for who they are.

One is thoughtful and deliberate. Another is curious and creative. One quietly watches from the edges until the moment feels right to join in. They each process the world a little differently, learn a little differently, relate to others a little differently—and those differences are beautiful.

🌻 Time Is the Greatest Gift

When there’s no pressure to “get a ride in,” you discover a completely different kind of connection.

Grooming becomes an unhurried ritual. Hand-grazing turns into a shared moment of peace. Sometimes, the best thing we did all day was simply stand together in the pasture, breathing the same air, with no agenda at all.

A Note for My Clients

I know so many of my clients go through seasons when riding just isn’t possible—whether because of their horse’s health, their own physical limitations, or simply the realities of life.

I’m often the one saying, “You need to press pause on riding for a while.” And I know how scary that can feel—like you’re losing the very thing you love most about horses.

But I want you to know this: you’re not losing everything. You’re gaining the opportunity to discover an entirely new side of your partnership. There is so much joy, depth, and connection to be found without ever putting a foot in the stirrup.

I still love riding. But I no longer see it as the only way to connect.

Groundwork, play, and quiet observation have given me a deeper relationship with my horses than I ever thought possible. And now, when I do ride, it’s not just about the ride—it’s about the trust we’ve built, the understanding we share, and the partnership we’ve grown both on the ground and in the saddle.

If you’re in one of those seasons right now, hold onto this truth: your bond doesn’t have to pause just because you aren’t riding. In fact, it might just grow stronger than ever before. 🩵